When Spring Visits
Winter has placed a tan tarp
on the cornfield, and the tractor's tires
stamp shapes into the damp ground.
The spreader, row by row
like incense, lays the sweet smell
horse manure until it covers the field
and comes inside, politely,
through the screen door.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Paper #1 - Very Late
In Usher's song Burn, he shows that sometimes the right thing to do is not always the easiest, nor is the right thing to do always what you want to do. Your emotions can make it hard to do what is right. They cause you to feel bad and be hesitant about doing what you truly think is best. Your emotions make you doubt yourself and in turn make you hold off on doing what you should be.
In the song, Usher feels that things between himself and his girl are coming to an end. He feels that they have been for awhile and that the best thing to do is to end things between the two of them. His emotions are making that hard for him to do. He explains that he still loves her, but he is hurt and unhappy. His emotions are telling him to work things out but his mind is telling him that things are not going to work. When Usher uses the work "burn" I believe he is referring to the pain he feels inside. He feels that the pain comes with making the decision and he needs to endure it and not let it cause him to run back to his girl. The line; "Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you hate the thought of her being with someone else," shows one of the reasons that he does not want to let her go. The he talks himself in to sticking to his guns by saying, "But you know that it's over, you know that it was through." He does go back and forth in the song about his feelings. The bridge in the song goes, "I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on, On the other side I wanna break down and cry."
In the video, the director illustrates the frustration and struggle of the main character. It starts out with Usher alone in his house but flashes pictures of his ex-"shortie." While he explains why he needs to let her go the camera zooms out the show Usher sitting in front of a giant picture of his ex-girlfriend. The picture shows how significant that this person was in his life. Then the camera shows a close up of Usher's face with flames in his eyes when he explains how he must "let it burn." The flames show how Usher is feeling inside about the decision he is faced with. Usher is then seen looking out a window that overlooks a pool where he visualizes his ex jumping into to it. As she jumps into the pool it ignites into flames showing that she is the cause of his "burning" feeling inside. Next he begins to express how he cannot stop thinking about his ex even when he is with other women. The video flashes from images of him and the ex to him and a different woman. In the next scene the bed that he was in with both women bursts into flames. This shows that the memory of his ex in his bed is overpowering and he thinks of her even when he is with someone else. In the next scene, the director flashes back to the giant picture of Usher's ex-girlfriend but this time the picture is beginning to slowly burn. This image illustrates how the memories of her are slowly burning holes inside of him. Usher is then seen driving down the highway having flashbacks of his ex-girlfriend in his car with him. Then he thinks he sees her standing in the road and stops his car. When he gets out she is no longer there and the palm trees along the side of the road burst into flames. This further emphasizes the fact that almost everything about his everyday life causes him to think about her and feel the "burn" inside. The video then flashes back through all the previous scenes. Then Usher is taking small steps walking back towards his car which shows that he is slowly walking away from the situation.
In the song, Usher feels that things between himself and his girl are coming to an end. He feels that they have been for awhile and that the best thing to do is to end things between the two of them. His emotions are making that hard for him to do. He explains that he still loves her, but he is hurt and unhappy. His emotions are telling him to work things out but his mind is telling him that things are not going to work. When Usher uses the work "burn" I believe he is referring to the pain he feels inside. He feels that the pain comes with making the decision and he needs to endure it and not let it cause him to run back to his girl. The line; "Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you hate the thought of her being with someone else," shows one of the reasons that he does not want to let her go. The he talks himself in to sticking to his guns by saying, "But you know that it's over, you know that it was through." He does go back and forth in the song about his feelings. The bridge in the song goes, "I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on, On the other side I wanna break down and cry."
In the video, the director illustrates the frustration and struggle of the main character. It starts out with Usher alone in his house but flashes pictures of his ex-"shortie." While he explains why he needs to let her go the camera zooms out the show Usher sitting in front of a giant picture of his ex-girlfriend. The picture shows how significant that this person was in his life. Then the camera shows a close up of Usher's face with flames in his eyes when he explains how he must "let it burn." The flames show how Usher is feeling inside about the decision he is faced with. Usher is then seen looking out a window that overlooks a pool where he visualizes his ex jumping into to it. As she jumps into the pool it ignites into flames showing that she is the cause of his "burning" feeling inside. Next he begins to express how he cannot stop thinking about his ex even when he is with other women. The video flashes from images of him and the ex to him and a different woman. In the next scene the bed that he was in with both women bursts into flames. This shows that the memory of his ex in his bed is overpowering and he thinks of her even when he is with someone else. In the next scene, the director flashes back to the giant picture of Usher's ex-girlfriend but this time the picture is beginning to slowly burn. This image illustrates how the memories of her are slowly burning holes inside of him. Usher is then seen driving down the highway having flashbacks of his ex-girlfriend in his car with him. Then he thinks he sees her standing in the road and stops his car. When he gets out she is no longer there and the palm trees along the side of the road burst into flames. This further emphasizes the fact that almost everything about his everyday life causes him to think about her and feel the "burn" inside. The video then flashes back through all the previous scenes. Then Usher is taking small steps walking back towards his car which shows that he is slowly walking away from the situation.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Essay #2
Essay #2: Proposal
For this essay, you will write a proposal to solve a community problem. It can be any problem, as long as it's local. This proposal will take the form of a one-page, single-spaced letter to the person answering for the problem: congressman, manager, mayor, etc. The document should be set up in standard letter format. You will back up your ideas with sound rhetoric and at least two outside sources. The second page of the essay will be a works cited page. Because you are only allowed one, single-spaced page, the challenge for this paper is to be convincing, but concise.
Essay #2: Rubric (100 points total)
1. Use of sound rhetorical strategies: 20 points
2. Successful incorporation of at least two sources: relevance, flow, purpose: 20 points
3. Conciseness/To the point: 20 points
4. Audience awareness: voice, tone, assumptions, appeals: 20 points
5. Mechanical Errors: format, spelling, grammar, diction, syntax, punctuation, etc.: 20 points
Essay #2: Calendar
2/24: Introduction to Essay #2
2/26: Introduction to Library- Brainstorm 3 possible topics, and bring them to class. Review pages 528-547 in preparation for the library.
3/3: Essay #2, Draft #1 due- For the first draft, I'd like you to explore 2 possible topics. Write at least a few paragraphs (1/2 page) for each topic.
Basically, begin the assignment, for two different topics, and see where it takes you. In class during small group workshop, you will determine which topic is best for your paper and how to develop it further. Read pages 352-363 and 364-366.
3/5: Essay #2, Draft #2 due- This draft should be almost full-length and include at least one source. I should see considerable development from the first draft. In class, we will go over MLA format and incorporation of sources. Read pages 327-345.
Spring Break: During Spring Break I will read your 2nd drafts and email you comments. Review pages 346-350.
3/17: Essay #2 final draft due
For this essay, you will write a proposal to solve a community problem. It can be any problem, as long as it's local. This proposal will take the form of a one-page, single-spaced letter to the person answering for the problem: congressman, manager, mayor, etc. The document should be set up in standard letter format. You will back up your ideas with sound rhetoric and at least two outside sources. The second page of the essay will be a works cited page. Because you are only allowed one, single-spaced page, the challenge for this paper is to be convincing, but concise.
Essay #2: Rubric (100 points total)
1. Use of sound rhetorical strategies: 20 points
2. Successful incorporation of at least two sources: relevance, flow, purpose: 20 points
3. Conciseness/To the point: 20 points
4. Audience awareness: voice, tone, assumptions, appeals: 20 points
5. Mechanical Errors: format, spelling, grammar, diction, syntax, punctuation, etc.: 20 points
Essay #2: Calendar
2/24: Introduction to Essay #2
2/26: Introduction to Library- Brainstorm 3 possible topics, and bring them to class. Review pages 528-547 in preparation for the library.
3/3: Essay #2, Draft #1 due- For the first draft, I'd like you to explore 2 possible topics. Write at least a few paragraphs (1/2 page) for each topic.
Basically, begin the assignment, for two different topics, and see where it takes you. In class during small group workshop, you will determine which topic is best for your paper and how to develop it further. Read pages 352-363 and 364-366.
3/5: Essay #2, Draft #2 due- This draft should be almost full-length and include at least one source. I should see considerable development from the first draft. In class, we will go over MLA format and incorporation of sources. Read pages 327-345.
Spring Break: During Spring Break I will read your 2nd drafts and email you comments. Review pages 346-350.
3/17: Essay #2 final draft due
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Peer Review for Sidra "If I were a boy"
By: Laura Altman
Sidra wrote her essay on the song “If I were a boy” by Beyonce Knowles. Her thesis on what this song meant was “, Beyonce sings about the empathy she would have if she were a man. Because she knows the feelings described well, from direct experience, she would be able to know those feelings as a man and then be a "better man" from it. She would inherently know how to treat a woman if she were a man because she would know how she wants men to treat her. With this empathy, she would be a better man.” This song deals with all form of rhetoric, this song has more pathos than anything. It allows the listeners and viewers to relate with what she is talking about. There are many relationships out there that are or have been in that same situation. The argument in the video is that men have a special privilege giving them the ability to so whatever and not worrying about their other half. Being able to make up excuses for the phone being off; or going out any time to have a beer. The song makes it sound like all men are like that and the things she talks about is true but for only a majority. Beyonce says how that if she were a boy, she would treat them like they the way they want them to be treated.
Sidra did a good job in using examples, for every statement made she had an example to back it up. With those examples she compared it with the song and video. That made it more clear for me to understand. Such as; “She describes about how she could go out and cheat and have her male friends stick up for her and deny all rumors. She was saying in her song that she would turn her phone off, so she couldn’t be reached by her loved one. Males usually use an excuse when a woman can’t get a hold of them by their cell, they say it’s broken or they didn’t have reception. Men have the privilege to be able to turn off their phone and not care about missing calls. Well, that's the privilege Beyonce is trying to suggest that men have. In reality, men are slaves to their cell phones as much as women are.”, “The end of the song is saying you’re pretty much just like every other guy and won’t understand any of what she has to say about being a better man. She knows what it’s like to be mistreated in a relationship and she puts everything into it while the guy, just treats her as if she didn’t even exist.”,” At the end though she switched back to a women and you could tell she wasn’t happy with the things were going and that he will never understand the things he has put her through.” I think that Sidra did a great job at pointing out the main statements in the lyrics and how it was represented in the video. The only thing I would add is how in the beginning of the video Beyonce and her boyfriend in the video go back and forwards listing words. Such as; intimacy, honesty, and commitment then together they say “you, me” I think those words are the key of any relationship and by them both saying “you, Me” means it takes both partners to contribute.
Sidra’s analysis examples were great. She had a good thesis and how she interpreted the lyrics to the video. By watching the video you see how she acted as if she were the man in the relationship she would completely dismiss her partner and do what she wanted will her partner was at home safe and sound worrying about her. Then in the end it switch roles and now she was the one that was at home the whole time while it was really him going out and turning off his phone. She was put her in the place of his every day activity and then stated that if she were really a boy she would treat them how they want to be treated. Sidra looked at reality and stated that “I think the song may be a little sexist, because not every guy is out there being unfaithful and mistreating females. There are a lot of females out there doing the same thing as this male in the song. It is not always the male doing wrong in the relationship. This song may be a little misleading, but it usually is the male that messes up. In general this song is very symbolic and represents a lot of relationships around the world. The song has potential by changes the ways of a male, maybe if they care about their significant other enough they will realize how much they are hurting them and stop, but by the end of the song she sings “but your just a boy” so she’s say that you won’t every understand how it feels to be treated like this day after day.”
The one thing from the essay and in the video/ lyrics is definitely how in the end Beyonce is answering to her boyfriend and then the rolls change and the boyfriend is the answering to her asking “Why are you so jealous? Its not like im sleeping with the girl” Beyonce then blames the fact that he doesn’t understand because he is “just a boy”. It stands out because when they switch rolls you realize she wasnt just imitating what she thinks a guy does she took on the roll of her boyfriend. Then when they switched he didnt care how she felt, and she blames it on him being a boy as if it is the typical guy and so she puts up with it and doesnt want to let go.
Sidra wrote her essay on the song “If I were a boy” by Beyonce Knowles. Her thesis on what this song meant was “, Beyonce sings about the empathy she would have if she were a man. Because she knows the feelings described well, from direct experience, she would be able to know those feelings as a man and then be a "better man" from it. She would inherently know how to treat a woman if she were a man because she would know how she wants men to treat her. With this empathy, she would be a better man.” This song deals with all form of rhetoric, this song has more pathos than anything. It allows the listeners and viewers to relate with what she is talking about. There are many relationships out there that are or have been in that same situation. The argument in the video is that men have a special privilege giving them the ability to so whatever and not worrying about their other half. Being able to make up excuses for the phone being off; or going out any time to have a beer. The song makes it sound like all men are like that and the things she talks about is true but for only a majority. Beyonce says how that if she were a boy, she would treat them like they the way they want them to be treated.
Sidra did a good job in using examples, for every statement made she had an example to back it up. With those examples she compared it with the song and video. That made it more clear for me to understand. Such as; “She describes about how she could go out and cheat and have her male friends stick up for her and deny all rumors. She was saying in her song that she would turn her phone off, so she couldn’t be reached by her loved one. Males usually use an excuse when a woman can’t get a hold of them by their cell, they say it’s broken or they didn’t have reception. Men have the privilege to be able to turn off their phone and not care about missing calls. Well, that's the privilege Beyonce is trying to suggest that men have. In reality, men are slaves to their cell phones as much as women are.”, “The end of the song is saying you’re pretty much just like every other guy and won’t understand any of what she has to say about being a better man. She knows what it’s like to be mistreated in a relationship and she puts everything into it while the guy, just treats her as if she didn’t even exist.”,” At the end though she switched back to a women and you could tell she wasn’t happy with the things were going and that he will never understand the things he has put her through.” I think that Sidra did a great job at pointing out the main statements in the lyrics and how it was represented in the video. The only thing I would add is how in the beginning of the video Beyonce and her boyfriend in the video go back and forwards listing words. Such as; intimacy, honesty, and commitment then together they say “you, me” I think those words are the key of any relationship and by them both saying “you, Me” means it takes both partners to contribute.
Sidra’s analysis examples were great. She had a good thesis and how she interpreted the lyrics to the video. By watching the video you see how she acted as if she were the man in the relationship she would completely dismiss her partner and do what she wanted will her partner was at home safe and sound worrying about her. Then in the end it switch roles and now she was the one that was at home the whole time while it was really him going out and turning off his phone. She was put her in the place of his every day activity and then stated that if she were really a boy she would treat them how they want to be treated. Sidra looked at reality and stated that “I think the song may be a little sexist, because not every guy is out there being unfaithful and mistreating females. There are a lot of females out there doing the same thing as this male in the song. It is not always the male doing wrong in the relationship. This song may be a little misleading, but it usually is the male that messes up. In general this song is very symbolic and represents a lot of relationships around the world. The song has potential by changes the ways of a male, maybe if they care about their significant other enough they will realize how much they are hurting them and stop, but by the end of the song she sings “but your just a boy” so she’s say that you won’t every understand how it feels to be treated like this day after day.”
The one thing from the essay and in the video/ lyrics is definitely how in the end Beyonce is answering to her boyfriend and then the rolls change and the boyfriend is the answering to her asking “Why are you so jealous? Its not like im sleeping with the girl” Beyonce then blames the fact that he doesn’t understand because he is “just a boy”. It stands out because when they switch rolls you realize she wasnt just imitating what she thinks a guy does she took on the roll of her boyfriend. Then when they switched he didnt care how she felt, and she blames it on him being a boy as if it is the typical guy and so she puts up with it and doesnt want to let go.
peer review for "Ghosts
In Laura's essay the "Ghost" by Michael Jackson she states her thesis "When things start to change in your life because of something you can’t control. The effects of what is happening are as plain as the nose on your face, but you don’t know what is causing them." At least thats what i think it is. This song was a little bit confusing to understand. Michael jackson is so weird, the video is a little bit more understanding. Her thesis does deal with the subject matter. The song deals with the outlook other people have on him and it is not a good one. They look at him as an outcast as they do with his family.
She does provide many examples and supports in her essay such as;In the song he talks about hearing and seeing things going on but nothing there to make it all happen. He constantly asks. “Who gave you the right to shake my family? Who gave you the right to shake my baby, she needs me.” But he knows that the thing he sees and hears is really there because it is coming onto him. He then asks “Are you the ghost of jealousy.” "Jealousy is like a drug, once it settles in it is hard to overcome and it grows stronger causing emotional pain for yourself and most of the time others as well" she also talks about how would you feel if you were in his place and she describes the way he is feeling. She did a good job with explaining the song.
The song/video was a short film. She does a good job at analyizing both the text and the video. example from her essay "Michael introduces his family stating he is not alone in the house and out come ghost from the walls the stairs the chairs the floor just like in his song. I think the ghost are a symbol of how all the problems killed his family" Michael also jumps inside another mans body while hes a ghost and controls the man and lets him know what its like to be him. That's just one of the statements that supports her thesis.
the first paragraph is the one that stands out to me the last couple of sentences shows pathos and how this song really does affect people out there in relationships. It will make you think how this song does relate to you or others around you, you know.
by sidra
She does provide many examples and supports in her essay such as;In the song he talks about hearing and seeing things going on but nothing there to make it all happen. He constantly asks. “Who gave you the right to shake my family? Who gave you the right to shake my baby, she needs me.” But he knows that the thing he sees and hears is really there because it is coming onto him. He then asks “Are you the ghost of jealousy.” "Jealousy is like a drug, once it settles in it is hard to overcome and it grows stronger causing emotional pain for yourself and most of the time others as well" she also talks about how would you feel if you were in his place and she describes the way he is feeling. She did a good job with explaining the song.
The song/video was a short film. She does a good job at analyizing both the text and the video. example from her essay "Michael introduces his family stating he is not alone in the house and out come ghost from the walls the stairs the chairs the floor just like in his song. I think the ghost are a symbol of how all the problems killed his family" Michael also jumps inside another mans body while hes a ghost and controls the man and lets him know what its like to be him. That's just one of the statements that supports her thesis.
the first paragraph is the one that stands out to me the last couple of sentences shows pathos and how this song really does affect people out there in relationships. It will make you think how this song does relate to you or others around you, you know.
by sidra
This music, as with all the types of world music, holds its own set of characteristics and deserves respect regardless of taste. The language is different, but just because it's foreign, or you just don't agree with it, does not allow it to be disregarded and disrespected. Do you speak perfect English? It's really no different than your son, daughter or friend using words common to your dialect or accent that only people in your surrounding area would understand. At this point, there are very few people speaking and using the English language as it was created. How ethnocentric are you to discriminate these people? Forgive me if you are in the process of critiquing the Blue Collar Comedy tour as well. But if you are just singling out this group of people, there are some underlying issues at hand. Since when was Robert Marley racist? Please post your sources. From what I know, his father was a white man from Scotland. Robert Nesto Marley: "I don't have prejudice against mself. My father was a white and my mother was black. Them call me half-caste or whatever. Me don't dip on no body's side. Me don't dip on the black man's side nor the white man's side. Me dip on God's side, the one who create me and cause me to come from black and white." Robert led his country through the hardships of discrimination at a level no less than any other activist.
Each society has its evils, its right from its wrong. What is relevant and accepted in one society may not be as welcomed in another, which is normal. But because some thing's not welcome in the U.S. does not mean that it is necessarily bad. For instance, in Saudi Arabia, you can serve multiple years in jail for possession or consumption of alcohol. Does that mean its O.K. for Saudis to call us alcoholics? Rastafarians deserve as much respect as Catholic Ceremonies involving the ingestion of wine during service. Both kill brain cells, both reek havoc in societies. Although this is not the argument at hand... which can cause death directly after ingestion?
Damien Marley has inherited musical talent and a reputation from his father and his mother. He, just as his father, is attempting to bring "their music out of the socially deprived areas of Jamaica and onto the international music scene." The majority of Damiens songs are about ghetto youth. "Ghetto youth in need and there is no doubt about it..." He has the talent to incorporate incredible sounds into a powerful movement. Why don't they shoot him? Why don't inner city kids from Philadelphia shoot Allen Iverson? Who are you going to take seriously from Jamaica? The ones with the AK's or the one's with the microphones? The kids sell drugs to get the money. The money that is needed in our world that we associate with cars that no one on this earth needs. Houses that could fulfill the needs of an entire block in Kingston or any ghetto. These kids see the tourist and get the wrong idea about how life should be. Damien is trying to bring light to his people and the poverty of his homeland. When's the last time you heard Kenny G talk about the meth problem of his home town in Washington?
Each society has its evils, its right from its wrong. What is relevant and accepted in one society may not be as welcomed in another, which is normal. But because some thing's not welcome in the U.S. does not mean that it is necessarily bad. For instance, in Saudi Arabia, you can serve multiple years in jail for possession or consumption of alcohol. Does that mean its O.K. for Saudis to call us alcoholics? Rastafarians deserve as much respect as Catholic Ceremonies involving the ingestion of wine during service. Both kill brain cells, both reek havoc in societies. Although this is not the argument at hand... which can cause death directly after ingestion?
Damien Marley has inherited musical talent and a reputation from his father and his mother. He, just as his father, is attempting to bring "their music out of the socially deprived areas of Jamaica and onto the international music scene." The majority of Damiens songs are about ghetto youth. "Ghetto youth in need and there is no doubt about it..." He has the talent to incorporate incredible sounds into a powerful movement. Why don't they shoot him? Why don't inner city kids from Philadelphia shoot Allen Iverson? Who are you going to take seriously from Jamaica? The ones with the AK's or the one's with the microphones? The kids sell drugs to get the money. The money that is needed in our world that we associate with cars that no one on this earth needs. Houses that could fulfill the needs of an entire block in Kingston or any ghetto. These kids see the tourist and get the wrong idea about how life should be. Damien is trying to bring light to his people and the poverty of his homeland. When's the last time you heard Kenny G talk about the meth problem of his home town in Washington?
Peer Review of "Sunday, Bloody Sunday"-Part 2
I did provide evidence of analysis of my examples. Once example of this is “Broken bottles at the children’s feet…”. This example proves the thesis when describing a war torn area. I will also need to provide the figurative language for each example.
Examples on which I should elaborate:
· The trench is dug within our hearts
· And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart
· The religious mention of Jesus in the last verse.
The most outstanding aspect of my draft is about the music video. After watching the video, it proves how real it is. The realness of the video helps to prove the realness of the argument that the song is about.
Examples on which I should elaborate:
· The trench is dug within our hearts
· And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart
· The religious mention of Jesus in the last verse.
The most outstanding aspect of my draft is about the music video. After watching the video, it proves how real it is. The realness of the video helps to prove the realness of the argument that the song is about.
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