Wednesday, March 4, 2009
In-Text Citations
Don't forget to include in-text citations along with your works cited page. Your handbook is a good resource, as well as the websites below.
REVISED rubric for essay #2
Essay #2: Rubric (100 points total)
1. Use of sound rhetorical strategies: 20 points
2. Successful incorporation of at least two sources: relevance, flow, purpose: 20 points
3. Audience awareness: voice, tone, assumptions, appeals: 20 points
4. Mechanical Errors: format, spelling, grammar, diction, syntax, punctuation, etc.: 20 points
5. Strong Introduction: 20 points
1. Use of sound rhetorical strategies: 20 points
2. Successful incorporation of at least two sources: relevance, flow, purpose: 20 points
3. Audience awareness: voice, tone, assumptions, appeals: 20 points
4. Mechanical Errors: format, spelling, grammar, diction, syntax, punctuation, etc.: 20 points
5. Strong Introduction: 20 points
Letter Format (for those who couldn't open the page image)
Your Address
Date
Recipient's Address
Dear ,
akjfeklajithauhtk4jehrklawffffdfkasjfkajfkwjekjagkjwagk (imagine paragraph here)
akfjeklajkfljaekjtht;kaefwkajw (imagine paragraph here)
fkajfeklahtahgt;klaejgk;ejkrg;kaelgkllaj (imagine paragraph here)
Closing,
Signature
Your name
Date
Recipient's Address
Dear ,
akjfeklajithauhtk4jehrklawffffdfkasjfkajfkwjekjagkjwagk (imagine paragraph here)
akfjeklajkfljaekjtht;kaefwkajw (imagine paragraph here)
fkajfeklahtahgt;klaejgk;ejkrg;kaelgkllaj (imagine paragraph here)
Closing,
Signature
Your name
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Essay #2-1st Draft (Letter)
130 Elmwood Avenue
Hanover, PA 17331
March 3, 2009
Scott Christie, P.E
District Executive, Pennsylvania Department of Transportation
2140 Herr StreetHarrisburg, PA 17103-1699
Mr. Scott Christie,
Have you ever found yourself driving down Mount Pleasant Road or Narrow Drive having to pull out into Hanover Pike (Route 194) in Mount Pleasant Township? If you have you know it is a disastrous, as well as frustrating intersection to try to get out of. There are blind spots from both directions due to houses surrounding the intersection by only a couple feet making this intersection hazardous for the many commuters who drive this route daily, to and from work. Every since Lovers Lane, connecting Route 194 to Narrow Drive was closed in April 2006, due to its needed $800,000 road repair. The road closing has forced all commuters who used to take this short cut to South Hanover to the intersection of Route 194 and Narrow Drive where it is hard to see.
There have been many press releases discussing the need to place a traffic light at the intersection in the Village of Mount Pleasant. According to an article in the Evening Sun on Sunday, February 28, 2009, the State of Transportation has still not given answers to why a traffic light has not been put up in the intersection with Hanover Pike, Narrow Drive, and Mount Pleasant Road. To push the approval of the traffic light by PennDOT, people even sent pictures and stories about bad accidents that have taken place on the frequently traveled route and have continued to ask questions without getting any feedback back from the Department of Transportation. Being an individual who has experienced traveling through the blind intersection, I think a traffic light is severely needed. The intersection is not just surrounded by homes close to the roadsides but by resident’s shrubberies in their landscapes.
Sincerely,
Amber Lescalleet
Student, Harrisburg Area Community College-Gettysburg
130 Elmwood Avenue
Hanover, PA 17331
March 3, 2009
Scott Christie, P.E
District Executive, Pennsylvania Department of Transportation
2140 Herr StreetHarrisburg, PA 17103-1699
Mr. Scott Christie,
Have you ever found yourself driving down Mount Pleasant Road or Narrow Drive having to pull out into Hanover Pike (Route 194) in Mount Pleasant Township? If you have you know it is a disastrous, as well as frustrating intersection to try to get out of. There are blind spots from both directions due to houses surrounding the intersection by only a couple feet making this intersection hazardous for the many commuters who drive this route daily, to and from work. Every since Lovers Lane, connecting Route 194 to Narrow Drive was closed in April 2006, due to its needed $800,000 road repair. The road closing has forced all commuters who used to take this short cut to South Hanover to the intersection of Route 194 and Narrow Drive where it is hard to see.
There have been many press releases discussing the need to place a traffic light at the intersection in the Village of Mount Pleasant. According to an article in the Evening Sun on Sunday, February 28, 2009, the State of Transportation has still not given answers to why a traffic light has not been put up in the intersection with Hanover Pike, Narrow Drive, and Mount Pleasant Road. To push the approval of the traffic light by PennDOT, people even sent pictures and stories about bad accidents that have taken place on the frequently traveled route and have continued to ask questions without getting any feedback back from the Department of Transportation. Being an individual who has experienced traveling through the blind intersection, I think a traffic light is severely needed. The intersection is not just surrounded by homes close to the roadsides but by resident’s shrubberies in their landscapes.
Sincerely,
Amber Lescalleet
Student, Harrisburg Area Community College-Gettysburg
Letter Format
Below, is an example of proper letter format. Click on the image of the page to enlarge it. Let me know if this doesn't work for you, or if you have questions.
Power-Packed Introductions
Power-Packed Introductions
There are several ways to write a good introduction or opening to your paper.
Thesis Statement Opening
This is the traditional style of opening a paper. This is a "mini-summary" of your paper.
For example:
Gallaudet University, the only liberal arts college for deaf students in the world, is world-renowned in the field of deafness and education of the deaf. Gallaudet's charter was signed by President Abraham Lincoln. Gallaudet owes its rich history and fame to two men: Amos Kendall and Edward Miner Gallaudet.
Opening with a Story (Anecdote)
A good way of catching your reader's attention is by sharing a story that sets up your paper. Sharing a story gives a paper a more personal feel and helps make your reader comfortable.
This example was borrowed from Jack Gannon's The Week the World Heard Gallaudet (1989):
Astrid Goodstein, a Gallaudet faculty member, entered the beauty salon for her regular appointment proudly wearing her DPN button. ("I was married to that button that week!" she later confided.) When Sandy, her regular hairdresser, saw the button, he spoke and gestured, "Never! Never! Never!" Offended, Astrid turned around and headed for the door, but stopped short of leaving. She decided to keep her appointment, confessing later that at that moment her sense of principles had lost out to her vanity. Later she realized that her hairdresser had thought she was pushing for a deaf U.S. President.
Specific Detail Opening
Giving specific details about your subject appeals to your reader's curiosity and helps establish a visual picture of what your paper is about.
For example:
Hands flying, green eyes flashing, and spittle spraying Jenny howled at her younger sister Emma. People walk by gawking at the spectacle as Jenny's grunts emanate through the mall. Emma sucks at her thumb trying to appear nonchalant. Jenny's blond hair stands almost on end. Her hands seemed to fly so fast that her signs could barely be understood. Jenny was angry. Very angry.
Open with a Quotation
Another method of writing an introduction is to open with a quotation. This method makes your introduction more interactive and more appealing to your reader.
For example:
"Deaf people can do anything except hear," President I. King Jordan stated in his acceptance speech as thousands of deaf students and staff of Gallaudet University cheered. President Jordan's selection as the first deaf president of a university proved to be a monumental event for Gallaudet University and for deaf people all over the world.
Open with an Interesting Statistic
Statistics that grab the reader help to make an effective introduction.
For example:
American Sign Language is the second most preferred foreign language in the United States. 50% of all deaf and hard of hearing people use ASL. ASL is beginning to be provided under the Foreign Language Department in many universities and high schools around the nation.*
*The statistics are not accurate. They were invented as an example.
Question Openings
Possibly the easiest opening is one that presents one or more questions to be answered in the paper. This is effective because questions are usually what the reader has in mind when he or she sees your topic.
For example:
Is ASL a language? Can ASL be written? Do you have to be born deaf to understand ASL completely? To answer these questions, one must first understand exactly what ASL is. In this paper, I attempt to explain this as well as answer my own questions.
(The above examples come from English Works! http://depts.gallaudet.edu/englishworks/writing/introconslu.html)
More Introduction Examples
1. Introduction to the Foreword of Living Well With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia, written by Mary J. Shomon:
Chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia unnecessarily cripple an estimated 6-12 million Americans. Characterized by exhaustion, "brain fog," insomnia, and, in those with fibromyalgia, widespread pain, these illnesses have been poorly understood by both the medical profession and patients. This has resulted in much unnecessary frustration and suffering.
2. Introduction to Thomas Paine's Common Sense
Some writers have so confounded society with government, as to leave little or no distinction between them; whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness; the former promotes our happiness positively by uniting our affections, the latter negatively by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last a punisher.
3. Introduction of Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
1801.--I have just returned from a visit to my landlord--the solitary neighbour that I shall be troubled with. This is certainly a beautiful country! In all England, I do not believe that I could have fixed on a situation so completely removed from the stir of society. A perfect misanthropist's heaven--and Mr. Heathcliff and I are such a suitable pair to divide the desolation between us. A capital fellow! He little imagined how my heart warmed towards him when I beheld his black eyes withdraw so suspiciously under their brows, as I rode up, and when his fingers sheltered themselves, with a jealous resolution, still further in his waistcoat, as I announced my name.
4. Introduction to Forward of Real Sofistikashun: Essays on Poetry and Craft by Tony Hoagland
My friend Paul once said to me, "Scholars look things up; poets make things up." Though I would not justify ignorance in such a blithe, prideful way, there's something true and Emersonian about what he says, about finding out for yourself. This collection of essays about poetry, neither academic nor exactly for the reader off the street, is in fact a mostly homemade set of geographies, jerry-rigged descriptions, and taxonomies. They are intended for the reader who loves poems and likes to think about them. My hope is that these pieces show one person trying to think through certain topics, and that the step-by-step process of that thinking will be helpful to both readers and writers--in part because the essays are rudimentary, feeling their way. It's not the spirit of ignorance I feel loyal to, but the spirit of amateurism.
5. Introduction to "Jones Beach Reverie," by Whitney Scott, from South Loop Review
The smooth waters of Ellison Bay, Wisconsin, barely lap against this beach of rock, not sand, a rock beach formed by the repeated force of water against the cliff face. Eventually the limestone resistance crumbles so that chunks and boulders land haphazardly on top of each other to be broken down, pounded relentlessly by the surf.
There are several ways to write a good introduction or opening to your paper.
Thesis Statement Opening
This is the traditional style of opening a paper. This is a "mini-summary" of your paper.
For example:
Gallaudet University, the only liberal arts college for deaf students in the world, is world-renowned in the field of deafness and education of the deaf. Gallaudet's charter was signed by President Abraham Lincoln. Gallaudet owes its rich history and fame to two men: Amos Kendall and Edward Miner Gallaudet.
Opening with a Story (Anecdote)
A good way of catching your reader's attention is by sharing a story that sets up your paper. Sharing a story gives a paper a more personal feel and helps make your reader comfortable.
This example was borrowed from Jack Gannon's The Week the World Heard Gallaudet (1989):
Astrid Goodstein, a Gallaudet faculty member, entered the beauty salon for her regular appointment proudly wearing her DPN button. ("I was married to that button that week!" she later confided.) When Sandy, her regular hairdresser, saw the button, he spoke and gestured, "Never! Never! Never!" Offended, Astrid turned around and headed for the door, but stopped short of leaving. She decided to keep her appointment, confessing later that at that moment her sense of principles had lost out to her vanity. Later she realized that her hairdresser had thought she was pushing for a deaf U.S. President.
Specific Detail Opening
Giving specific details about your subject appeals to your reader's curiosity and helps establish a visual picture of what your paper is about.
For example:
Hands flying, green eyes flashing, and spittle spraying Jenny howled at her younger sister Emma. People walk by gawking at the spectacle as Jenny's grunts emanate through the mall. Emma sucks at her thumb trying to appear nonchalant. Jenny's blond hair stands almost on end. Her hands seemed to fly so fast that her signs could barely be understood. Jenny was angry. Very angry.
Open with a Quotation
Another method of writing an introduction is to open with a quotation. This method makes your introduction more interactive and more appealing to your reader.
For example:
"Deaf people can do anything except hear," President I. King Jordan stated in his acceptance speech as thousands of deaf students and staff of Gallaudet University cheered. President Jordan's selection as the first deaf president of a university proved to be a monumental event for Gallaudet University and for deaf people all over the world.
Open with an Interesting Statistic
Statistics that grab the reader help to make an effective introduction.
For example:
American Sign Language is the second most preferred foreign language in the United States. 50% of all deaf and hard of hearing people use ASL. ASL is beginning to be provided under the Foreign Language Department in many universities and high schools around the nation.*
*The statistics are not accurate. They were invented as an example.
Question Openings
Possibly the easiest opening is one that presents one or more questions to be answered in the paper. This is effective because questions are usually what the reader has in mind when he or she sees your topic.
For example:
Is ASL a language? Can ASL be written? Do you have to be born deaf to understand ASL completely? To answer these questions, one must first understand exactly what ASL is. In this paper, I attempt to explain this as well as answer my own questions.
(The above examples come from English Works! http://depts.gallaudet.edu/englishworks/writing/introconslu.html)
More Introduction Examples
1. Introduction to the Foreword of Living Well With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia, written by Mary J. Shomon:
Chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia unnecessarily cripple an estimated 6-12 million Americans. Characterized by exhaustion, "brain fog," insomnia, and, in those with fibromyalgia, widespread pain, these illnesses have been poorly understood by both the medical profession and patients. This has resulted in much unnecessary frustration and suffering.
2. Introduction to Thomas Paine's Common Sense
Some writers have so confounded society with government, as to leave little or no distinction between them; whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness; the former promotes our happiness positively by uniting our affections, the latter negatively by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last a punisher.
3. Introduction of Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
1801.--I have just returned from a visit to my landlord--the solitary neighbour that I shall be troubled with. This is certainly a beautiful country! In all England, I do not believe that I could have fixed on a situation so completely removed from the stir of society. A perfect misanthropist's heaven--and Mr. Heathcliff and I are such a suitable pair to divide the desolation between us. A capital fellow! He little imagined how my heart warmed towards him when I beheld his black eyes withdraw so suspiciously under their brows, as I rode up, and when his fingers sheltered themselves, with a jealous resolution, still further in his waistcoat, as I announced my name.
4. Introduction to Forward of Real Sofistikashun: Essays on Poetry and Craft by Tony Hoagland
My friend Paul once said to me, "Scholars look things up; poets make things up." Though I would not justify ignorance in such a blithe, prideful way, there's something true and Emersonian about what he says, about finding out for yourself. This collection of essays about poetry, neither academic nor exactly for the reader off the street, is in fact a mostly homemade set of geographies, jerry-rigged descriptions, and taxonomies. They are intended for the reader who loves poems and likes to think about them. My hope is that these pieces show one person trying to think through certain topics, and that the step-by-step process of that thinking will be helpful to both readers and writers--in part because the essays are rudimentary, feeling their way. It's not the spirit of ignorance I feel loyal to, but the spirit of amateurism.
5. Introduction to "Jones Beach Reverie," by Whitney Scott, from South Loop Review
The smooth waters of Ellison Bay, Wisconsin, barely lap against this beach of rock, not sand, a rock beach formed by the repeated force of water against the cliff face. Eventually the limestone resistance crumbles so that chunks and boulders land haphazardly on top of each other to be broken down, pounded relentlessly by the surf.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Proposal Example
Proposal re: ATL comments section
Thursday, January 22, 2009 12:05 AM - By guest
Hello ATL Community,
I have become extremely frustrated by the comments lately and would like to propose an idea to remedy the situation.
Because of the vile, vulgur and racist comments frequently appearing on the site, it is becoming almost embarassing to admit that one even reads ATL at work.
ATL is a legal news/gossip blog. There is simply no reason to allow disgusting and racist comments about the editors that have absolute NOTHING to do with the law, nevermind the article in question.
My proposal- and I'm sure this would be easy to set up- is a community-moderated comment section. Set out some very basic ground rules and then put a little rad flag above every single comment. If enough members of the ATL community click on the red flag (because, e.g., the comment is racist or otherwise insulting and unrelated to the article) then the comment is automatically removed.
I think this would substantially elevate the quality of ATL and bring the site back to the days when there was no stigma attached to reading.
Just my two cents.
-NYC Associate
(http://abovethelaw.com/community/2009/01/proposal-re-atl-comments-secti.php)
Thursday, January 22, 2009 12:05 AM - By guest
Hello ATL Community,
I have become extremely frustrated by the comments lately and would like to propose an idea to remedy the situation.
Because of the vile, vulgur and racist comments frequently appearing on the site, it is becoming almost embarassing to admit that one even reads ATL at work.
ATL is a legal news/gossip blog. There is simply no reason to allow disgusting and racist comments about the editors that have absolute NOTHING to do with the law, nevermind the article in question.
My proposal- and I'm sure this would be easy to set up- is a community-moderated comment section. Set out some very basic ground rules and then put a little rad flag above every single comment. If enough members of the ATL community click on the red flag (because, e.g., the comment is racist or otherwise insulting and unrelated to the article) then the comment is automatically removed.
I think this would substantially elevate the quality of ATL and bring the site back to the days when there was no stigma attached to reading.
Just my two cents.
-NYC Associate
(http://abovethelaw.com/community/2009/01/proposal-re-atl-comments-secti.php)
Proposal Example
Dear Mayor Bloomberg:
We ask you to support BP Scott Stringer’s and other elected official’s proposal for a park and fewer sanitation facilities at Canal and Spring Streets in conjunction with the community’s AIA award winning and PlaNYC compatible green design for the southern terminus of the High Line, including a safe crossing to Pier 40. The residents, business and property owners in Hudson Square have made amazing investments in the community to create one of the most exciting neighborhoods in NYC.
According to Trinity Real Estate, “Hudson Square’s convenient location, vibrant atmosphere and intriguing mix of office buildings, restaurants, shops, galleries and new residential projects make it the ideal setting in which to invent, prosper — and replenish.”
We support best efforts to relocate the sanitation garages and salt shed from Gansevoort Peninsula to create a better Hudson River Park, but it has to be done inclusively and sensitively in the context of master planning for our neighborhood, not driven by a private settlement agreement which did not involve affected parties.
In 1999, the community and community boards worked out a consensus plan that was approved under ULURP for two garages with a park on top at 29th Street in Hudson Yards. HUDSON SQUARE DESERVES THE SAME. PLEASE WORK WITH US IN PLACEMAKING TO CREATE A DEFINING ASPECT OF THE WATERFRONT AND THE WEST SIDE FOR THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS.
(http://www.savehudsonsquare.org/)
We ask you to support BP Scott Stringer’s and other elected official’s proposal for a park and fewer sanitation facilities at Canal and Spring Streets in conjunction with the community’s AIA award winning and PlaNYC compatible green design for the southern terminus of the High Line, including a safe crossing to Pier 40. The residents, business and property owners in Hudson Square have made amazing investments in the community to create one of the most exciting neighborhoods in NYC.
According to Trinity Real Estate, “Hudson Square’s convenient location, vibrant atmosphere and intriguing mix of office buildings, restaurants, shops, galleries and new residential projects make it the ideal setting in which to invent, prosper — and replenish.”
We support best efforts to relocate the sanitation garages and salt shed from Gansevoort Peninsula to create a better Hudson River Park, but it has to be done inclusively and sensitively in the context of master planning for our neighborhood, not driven by a private settlement agreement which did not involve affected parties.
In 1999, the community and community boards worked out a consensus plan that was approved under ULURP for two garages with a park on top at 29th Street in Hudson Yards. HUDSON SQUARE DESERVES THE SAME. PLEASE WORK WITH US IN PLACEMAKING TO CREATE A DEFINING ASPECT OF THE WATERFRONT AND THE WEST SIDE FOR THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS.
(http://www.savehudsonsquare.org/)
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