Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Power-Packed Introductions
Power-Packed Introductions
There are several ways to write a good introduction or opening to your paper.
Thesis Statement Opening
This is the traditional style of opening a paper. This is a "mini-summary" of your paper.
For example:
Gallaudet University, the only liberal arts college for deaf students in the world, is world-renowned in the field of deafness and education of the deaf. Gallaudet's charter was signed by President Abraham Lincoln. Gallaudet owes its rich history and fame to two men: Amos Kendall and Edward Miner Gallaudet.
Opening with a Story (Anecdote)
A good way of catching your reader's attention is by sharing a story that sets up your paper. Sharing a story gives a paper a more personal feel and helps make your reader comfortable.
This example was borrowed from Jack Gannon's The Week the World Heard Gallaudet (1989):
Astrid Goodstein, a Gallaudet faculty member, entered the beauty salon for her regular appointment proudly wearing her DPN button. ("I was married to that button that week!" she later confided.) When Sandy, her regular hairdresser, saw the button, he spoke and gestured, "Never! Never! Never!" Offended, Astrid turned around and headed for the door, but stopped short of leaving. She decided to keep her appointment, confessing later that at that moment her sense of principles had lost out to her vanity. Later she realized that her hairdresser had thought she was pushing for a deaf U.S. President.
Specific Detail Opening
Giving specific details about your subject appeals to your reader's curiosity and helps establish a visual picture of what your paper is about.
For example:
Hands flying, green eyes flashing, and spittle spraying Jenny howled at her younger sister Emma. People walk by gawking at the spectacle as Jenny's grunts emanate through the mall. Emma sucks at her thumb trying to appear nonchalant. Jenny's blond hair stands almost on end. Her hands seemed to fly so fast that her signs could barely be understood. Jenny was angry. Very angry.
Open with a Quotation
Another method of writing an introduction is to open with a quotation. This method makes your introduction more interactive and more appealing to your reader.
For example:
"Deaf people can do anything except hear," President I. King Jordan stated in his acceptance speech as thousands of deaf students and staff of Gallaudet University cheered. President Jordan's selection as the first deaf president of a university proved to be a monumental event for Gallaudet University and for deaf people all over the world.
Open with an Interesting Statistic
Statistics that grab the reader help to make an effective introduction.
For example:
American Sign Language is the second most preferred foreign language in the United States. 50% of all deaf and hard of hearing people use ASL. ASL is beginning to be provided under the Foreign Language Department in many universities and high schools around the nation.*
*The statistics are not accurate. They were invented as an example.
Question Openings
Possibly the easiest opening is one that presents one or more questions to be answered in the paper. This is effective because questions are usually what the reader has in mind when he or she sees your topic.
For example:
Is ASL a language? Can ASL be written? Do you have to be born deaf to understand ASL completely? To answer these questions, one must first understand exactly what ASL is. In this paper, I attempt to explain this as well as answer my own questions.
(The above examples come from English Works! http://depts.gallaudet.edu/englishworks/writing/introconslu.html)
More Introduction Examples
1. Introduction to the Foreword of Living Well With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia, written by Mary J. Shomon:
Chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia unnecessarily cripple an estimated 6-12 million Americans. Characterized by exhaustion, "brain fog," insomnia, and, in those with fibromyalgia, widespread pain, these illnesses have been poorly understood by both the medical profession and patients. This has resulted in much unnecessary frustration and suffering.
2. Introduction to Thomas Paine's Common Sense
Some writers have so confounded society with government, as to leave little or no distinction between them; whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness; the former promotes our happiness positively by uniting our affections, the latter negatively by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last a punisher.
3. Introduction of Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
1801.--I have just returned from a visit to my landlord--the solitary neighbour that I shall be troubled with. This is certainly a beautiful country! In all England, I do not believe that I could have fixed on a situation so completely removed from the stir of society. A perfect misanthropist's heaven--and Mr. Heathcliff and I are such a suitable pair to divide the desolation between us. A capital fellow! He little imagined how my heart warmed towards him when I beheld his black eyes withdraw so suspiciously under their brows, as I rode up, and when his fingers sheltered themselves, with a jealous resolution, still further in his waistcoat, as I announced my name.
4. Introduction to Forward of Real Sofistikashun: Essays on Poetry and Craft by Tony Hoagland
My friend Paul once said to me, "Scholars look things up; poets make things up." Though I would not justify ignorance in such a blithe, prideful way, there's something true and Emersonian about what he says, about finding out for yourself. This collection of essays about poetry, neither academic nor exactly for the reader off the street, is in fact a mostly homemade set of geographies, jerry-rigged descriptions, and taxonomies. They are intended for the reader who loves poems and likes to think about them. My hope is that these pieces show one person trying to think through certain topics, and that the step-by-step process of that thinking will be helpful to both readers and writers--in part because the essays are rudimentary, feeling their way. It's not the spirit of ignorance I feel loyal to, but the spirit of amateurism.
5. Introduction to "Jones Beach Reverie," by Whitney Scott, from South Loop Review
The smooth waters of Ellison Bay, Wisconsin, barely lap against this beach of rock, not sand, a rock beach formed by the repeated force of water against the cliff face. Eventually the limestone resistance crumbles so that chunks and boulders land haphazardly on top of each other to be broken down, pounded relentlessly by the surf.
There are several ways to write a good introduction or opening to your paper.
Thesis Statement Opening
This is the traditional style of opening a paper. This is a "mini-summary" of your paper.
For example:
Gallaudet University, the only liberal arts college for deaf students in the world, is world-renowned in the field of deafness and education of the deaf. Gallaudet's charter was signed by President Abraham Lincoln. Gallaudet owes its rich history and fame to two men: Amos Kendall and Edward Miner Gallaudet.
Opening with a Story (Anecdote)
A good way of catching your reader's attention is by sharing a story that sets up your paper. Sharing a story gives a paper a more personal feel and helps make your reader comfortable.
This example was borrowed from Jack Gannon's The Week the World Heard Gallaudet (1989):
Astrid Goodstein, a Gallaudet faculty member, entered the beauty salon for her regular appointment proudly wearing her DPN button. ("I was married to that button that week!" she later confided.) When Sandy, her regular hairdresser, saw the button, he spoke and gestured, "Never! Never! Never!" Offended, Astrid turned around and headed for the door, but stopped short of leaving. She decided to keep her appointment, confessing later that at that moment her sense of principles had lost out to her vanity. Later she realized that her hairdresser had thought she was pushing for a deaf U.S. President.
Specific Detail Opening
Giving specific details about your subject appeals to your reader's curiosity and helps establish a visual picture of what your paper is about.
For example:
Hands flying, green eyes flashing, and spittle spraying Jenny howled at her younger sister Emma. People walk by gawking at the spectacle as Jenny's grunts emanate through the mall. Emma sucks at her thumb trying to appear nonchalant. Jenny's blond hair stands almost on end. Her hands seemed to fly so fast that her signs could barely be understood. Jenny was angry. Very angry.
Open with a Quotation
Another method of writing an introduction is to open with a quotation. This method makes your introduction more interactive and more appealing to your reader.
For example:
"Deaf people can do anything except hear," President I. King Jordan stated in his acceptance speech as thousands of deaf students and staff of Gallaudet University cheered. President Jordan's selection as the first deaf president of a university proved to be a monumental event for Gallaudet University and for deaf people all over the world.
Open with an Interesting Statistic
Statistics that grab the reader help to make an effective introduction.
For example:
American Sign Language is the second most preferred foreign language in the United States. 50% of all deaf and hard of hearing people use ASL. ASL is beginning to be provided under the Foreign Language Department in many universities and high schools around the nation.*
*The statistics are not accurate. They were invented as an example.
Question Openings
Possibly the easiest opening is one that presents one or more questions to be answered in the paper. This is effective because questions are usually what the reader has in mind when he or she sees your topic.
For example:
Is ASL a language? Can ASL be written? Do you have to be born deaf to understand ASL completely? To answer these questions, one must first understand exactly what ASL is. In this paper, I attempt to explain this as well as answer my own questions.
(The above examples come from English Works! http://depts.gallaudet.edu/englishworks/writing/introconslu.html)
More Introduction Examples
1. Introduction to the Foreword of Living Well With Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia, written by Mary J. Shomon:
Chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia unnecessarily cripple an estimated 6-12 million Americans. Characterized by exhaustion, "brain fog," insomnia, and, in those with fibromyalgia, widespread pain, these illnesses have been poorly understood by both the medical profession and patients. This has resulted in much unnecessary frustration and suffering.
2. Introduction to Thomas Paine's Common Sense
Some writers have so confounded society with government, as to leave little or no distinction between them; whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness; the former promotes our happiness positively by uniting our affections, the latter negatively by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last a punisher.
3. Introduction of Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
1801.--I have just returned from a visit to my landlord--the solitary neighbour that I shall be troubled with. This is certainly a beautiful country! In all England, I do not believe that I could have fixed on a situation so completely removed from the stir of society. A perfect misanthropist's heaven--and Mr. Heathcliff and I are such a suitable pair to divide the desolation between us. A capital fellow! He little imagined how my heart warmed towards him when I beheld his black eyes withdraw so suspiciously under their brows, as I rode up, and when his fingers sheltered themselves, with a jealous resolution, still further in his waistcoat, as I announced my name.
4. Introduction to Forward of Real Sofistikashun: Essays on Poetry and Craft by Tony Hoagland
My friend Paul once said to me, "Scholars look things up; poets make things up." Though I would not justify ignorance in such a blithe, prideful way, there's something true and Emersonian about what he says, about finding out for yourself. This collection of essays about poetry, neither academic nor exactly for the reader off the street, is in fact a mostly homemade set of geographies, jerry-rigged descriptions, and taxonomies. They are intended for the reader who loves poems and likes to think about them. My hope is that these pieces show one person trying to think through certain topics, and that the step-by-step process of that thinking will be helpful to both readers and writers--in part because the essays are rudimentary, feeling their way. It's not the spirit of ignorance I feel loyal to, but the spirit of amateurism.
5. Introduction to "Jones Beach Reverie," by Whitney Scott, from South Loop Review
The smooth waters of Ellison Bay, Wisconsin, barely lap against this beach of rock, not sand, a rock beach formed by the repeated force of water against the cliff face. Eventually the limestone resistance crumbles so that chunks and boulders land haphazardly on top of each other to be broken down, pounded relentlessly by the surf.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Proposal Example
Proposal re: ATL comments section
Thursday, January 22, 2009 12:05 AM - By guest
Hello ATL Community,
I have become extremely frustrated by the comments lately and would like to propose an idea to remedy the situation.
Because of the vile, vulgur and racist comments frequently appearing on the site, it is becoming almost embarassing to admit that one even reads ATL at work.
ATL is a legal news/gossip blog. There is simply no reason to allow disgusting and racist comments about the editors that have absolute NOTHING to do with the law, nevermind the article in question.
My proposal- and I'm sure this would be easy to set up- is a community-moderated comment section. Set out some very basic ground rules and then put a little rad flag above every single comment. If enough members of the ATL community click on the red flag (because, e.g., the comment is racist or otherwise insulting and unrelated to the article) then the comment is automatically removed.
I think this would substantially elevate the quality of ATL and bring the site back to the days when there was no stigma attached to reading.
Just my two cents.
-NYC Associate
(http://abovethelaw.com/community/2009/01/proposal-re-atl-comments-secti.php)
Thursday, January 22, 2009 12:05 AM - By guest
Hello ATL Community,
I have become extremely frustrated by the comments lately and would like to propose an idea to remedy the situation.
Because of the vile, vulgur and racist comments frequently appearing on the site, it is becoming almost embarassing to admit that one even reads ATL at work.
ATL is a legal news/gossip blog. There is simply no reason to allow disgusting and racist comments about the editors that have absolute NOTHING to do with the law, nevermind the article in question.
My proposal- and I'm sure this would be easy to set up- is a community-moderated comment section. Set out some very basic ground rules and then put a little rad flag above every single comment. If enough members of the ATL community click on the red flag (because, e.g., the comment is racist or otherwise insulting and unrelated to the article) then the comment is automatically removed.
I think this would substantially elevate the quality of ATL and bring the site back to the days when there was no stigma attached to reading.
Just my two cents.
-NYC Associate
(http://abovethelaw.com/community/2009/01/proposal-re-atl-comments-secti.php)
Proposal Example
Dear Mayor Bloomberg:
We ask you to support BP Scott Stringer’s and other elected official’s proposal for a park and fewer sanitation facilities at Canal and Spring Streets in conjunction with the community’s AIA award winning and PlaNYC compatible green design for the southern terminus of the High Line, including a safe crossing to Pier 40. The residents, business and property owners in Hudson Square have made amazing investments in the community to create one of the most exciting neighborhoods in NYC.
According to Trinity Real Estate, “Hudson Square’s convenient location, vibrant atmosphere and intriguing mix of office buildings, restaurants, shops, galleries and new residential projects make it the ideal setting in which to invent, prosper — and replenish.”
We support best efforts to relocate the sanitation garages and salt shed from Gansevoort Peninsula to create a better Hudson River Park, but it has to be done inclusively and sensitively in the context of master planning for our neighborhood, not driven by a private settlement agreement which did not involve affected parties.
In 1999, the community and community boards worked out a consensus plan that was approved under ULURP for two garages with a park on top at 29th Street in Hudson Yards. HUDSON SQUARE DESERVES THE SAME. PLEASE WORK WITH US IN PLACEMAKING TO CREATE A DEFINING ASPECT OF THE WATERFRONT AND THE WEST SIDE FOR THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS.
(http://www.savehudsonsquare.org/)
We ask you to support BP Scott Stringer’s and other elected official’s proposal for a park and fewer sanitation facilities at Canal and Spring Streets in conjunction with the community’s AIA award winning and PlaNYC compatible green design for the southern terminus of the High Line, including a safe crossing to Pier 40. The residents, business and property owners in Hudson Square have made amazing investments in the community to create one of the most exciting neighborhoods in NYC.
According to Trinity Real Estate, “Hudson Square’s convenient location, vibrant atmosphere and intriguing mix of office buildings, restaurants, shops, galleries and new residential projects make it the ideal setting in which to invent, prosper — and replenish.”
We support best efforts to relocate the sanitation garages and salt shed from Gansevoort Peninsula to create a better Hudson River Park, but it has to be done inclusively and sensitively in the context of master planning for our neighborhood, not driven by a private settlement agreement which did not involve affected parties.
In 1999, the community and community boards worked out a consensus plan that was approved under ULURP for two garages with a park on top at 29th Street in Hudson Yards. HUDSON SQUARE DESERVES THE SAME. PLEASE WORK WITH US IN PLACEMAKING TO CREATE A DEFINING ASPECT OF THE WATERFRONT AND THE WEST SIDE FOR THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS.
(http://www.savehudsonsquare.org/)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Poem About Smell of Manure
When Spring Visits
Winter has placed a tan tarp
on the cornfield, and the tractor's tires
stamp shapes into the damp ground.
The spreader, row by row
like incense, lays the sweet smell
horse manure until it covers the field
and comes inside, politely,
through the screen door.
Winter has placed a tan tarp
on the cornfield, and the tractor's tires
stamp shapes into the damp ground.
The spreader, row by row
like incense, lays the sweet smell
horse manure until it covers the field
and comes inside, politely,
through the screen door.
Paper #1 - Very Late
In Usher's song Burn, he shows that sometimes the right thing to do is not always the easiest, nor is the right thing to do always what you want to do. Your emotions can make it hard to do what is right. They cause you to feel bad and be hesitant about doing what you truly think is best. Your emotions make you doubt yourself and in turn make you hold off on doing what you should be.
In the song, Usher feels that things between himself and his girl are coming to an end. He feels that they have been for awhile and that the best thing to do is to end things between the two of them. His emotions are making that hard for him to do. He explains that he still loves her, but he is hurt and unhappy. His emotions are telling him to work things out but his mind is telling him that things are not going to work. When Usher uses the work "burn" I believe he is referring to the pain he feels inside. He feels that the pain comes with making the decision and he needs to endure it and not let it cause him to run back to his girl. The line; "Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you hate the thought of her being with someone else," shows one of the reasons that he does not want to let her go. The he talks himself in to sticking to his guns by saying, "But you know that it's over, you know that it was through." He does go back and forth in the song about his feelings. The bridge in the song goes, "I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on, On the other side I wanna break down and cry."
In the video, the director illustrates the frustration and struggle of the main character. It starts out with Usher alone in his house but flashes pictures of his ex-"shortie." While he explains why he needs to let her go the camera zooms out the show Usher sitting in front of a giant picture of his ex-girlfriend. The picture shows how significant that this person was in his life. Then the camera shows a close up of Usher's face with flames in his eyes when he explains how he must "let it burn." The flames show how Usher is feeling inside about the decision he is faced with. Usher is then seen looking out a window that overlooks a pool where he visualizes his ex jumping into to it. As she jumps into the pool it ignites into flames showing that she is the cause of his "burning" feeling inside. Next he begins to express how he cannot stop thinking about his ex even when he is with other women. The video flashes from images of him and the ex to him and a different woman. In the next scene the bed that he was in with both women bursts into flames. This shows that the memory of his ex in his bed is overpowering and he thinks of her even when he is with someone else. In the next scene, the director flashes back to the giant picture of Usher's ex-girlfriend but this time the picture is beginning to slowly burn. This image illustrates how the memories of her are slowly burning holes inside of him. Usher is then seen driving down the highway having flashbacks of his ex-girlfriend in his car with him. Then he thinks he sees her standing in the road and stops his car. When he gets out she is no longer there and the palm trees along the side of the road burst into flames. This further emphasizes the fact that almost everything about his everyday life causes him to think about her and feel the "burn" inside. The video then flashes back through all the previous scenes. Then Usher is taking small steps walking back towards his car which shows that he is slowly walking away from the situation.
In the song, Usher feels that things between himself and his girl are coming to an end. He feels that they have been for awhile and that the best thing to do is to end things between the two of them. His emotions are making that hard for him to do. He explains that he still loves her, but he is hurt and unhappy. His emotions are telling him to work things out but his mind is telling him that things are not going to work. When Usher uses the work "burn" I believe he is referring to the pain he feels inside. He feels that the pain comes with making the decision and he needs to endure it and not let it cause him to run back to his girl. The line; "Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you hate the thought of her being with someone else," shows one of the reasons that he does not want to let her go. The he talks himself in to sticking to his guns by saying, "But you know that it's over, you know that it was through." He does go back and forth in the song about his feelings. The bridge in the song goes, "I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on, On the other side I wanna break down and cry."
In the video, the director illustrates the frustration and struggle of the main character. It starts out with Usher alone in his house but flashes pictures of his ex-"shortie." While he explains why he needs to let her go the camera zooms out the show Usher sitting in front of a giant picture of his ex-girlfriend. The picture shows how significant that this person was in his life. Then the camera shows a close up of Usher's face with flames in his eyes when he explains how he must "let it burn." The flames show how Usher is feeling inside about the decision he is faced with. Usher is then seen looking out a window that overlooks a pool where he visualizes his ex jumping into to it. As she jumps into the pool it ignites into flames showing that she is the cause of his "burning" feeling inside. Next he begins to express how he cannot stop thinking about his ex even when he is with other women. The video flashes from images of him and the ex to him and a different woman. In the next scene the bed that he was in with both women bursts into flames. This shows that the memory of his ex in his bed is overpowering and he thinks of her even when he is with someone else. In the next scene, the director flashes back to the giant picture of Usher's ex-girlfriend but this time the picture is beginning to slowly burn. This image illustrates how the memories of her are slowly burning holes inside of him. Usher is then seen driving down the highway having flashbacks of his ex-girlfriend in his car with him. Then he thinks he sees her standing in the road and stops his car. When he gets out she is no longer there and the palm trees along the side of the road burst into flames. This further emphasizes the fact that almost everything about his everyday life causes him to think about her and feel the "burn" inside. The video then flashes back through all the previous scenes. Then Usher is taking small steps walking back towards his car which shows that he is slowly walking away from the situation.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Essay #2
Essay #2: Proposal
For this essay, you will write a proposal to solve a community problem. It can be any problem, as long as it's local. This proposal will take the form of a one-page, single-spaced letter to the person answering for the problem: congressman, manager, mayor, etc. The document should be set up in standard letter format. You will back up your ideas with sound rhetoric and at least two outside sources. The second page of the essay will be a works cited page. Because you are only allowed one, single-spaced page, the challenge for this paper is to be convincing, but concise.
Essay #2: Rubric (100 points total)
1. Use of sound rhetorical strategies: 20 points
2. Successful incorporation of at least two sources: relevance, flow, purpose: 20 points
3. Conciseness/To the point: 20 points
4. Audience awareness: voice, tone, assumptions, appeals: 20 points
5. Mechanical Errors: format, spelling, grammar, diction, syntax, punctuation, etc.: 20 points
Essay #2: Calendar
2/24: Introduction to Essay #2
2/26: Introduction to Library- Brainstorm 3 possible topics, and bring them to class. Review pages 528-547 in preparation for the library.
3/3: Essay #2, Draft #1 due- For the first draft, I'd like you to explore 2 possible topics. Write at least a few paragraphs (1/2 page) for each topic.
Basically, begin the assignment, for two different topics, and see where it takes you. In class during small group workshop, you will determine which topic is best for your paper and how to develop it further. Read pages 352-363 and 364-366.
3/5: Essay #2, Draft #2 due- This draft should be almost full-length and include at least one source. I should see considerable development from the first draft. In class, we will go over MLA format and incorporation of sources. Read pages 327-345.
Spring Break: During Spring Break I will read your 2nd drafts and email you comments. Review pages 346-350.
3/17: Essay #2 final draft due
For this essay, you will write a proposal to solve a community problem. It can be any problem, as long as it's local. This proposal will take the form of a one-page, single-spaced letter to the person answering for the problem: congressman, manager, mayor, etc. The document should be set up in standard letter format. You will back up your ideas with sound rhetoric and at least two outside sources. The second page of the essay will be a works cited page. Because you are only allowed one, single-spaced page, the challenge for this paper is to be convincing, but concise.
Essay #2: Rubric (100 points total)
1. Use of sound rhetorical strategies: 20 points
2. Successful incorporation of at least two sources: relevance, flow, purpose: 20 points
3. Conciseness/To the point: 20 points
4. Audience awareness: voice, tone, assumptions, appeals: 20 points
5. Mechanical Errors: format, spelling, grammar, diction, syntax, punctuation, etc.: 20 points
Essay #2: Calendar
2/24: Introduction to Essay #2
2/26: Introduction to Library- Brainstorm 3 possible topics, and bring them to class. Review pages 528-547 in preparation for the library.
3/3: Essay #2, Draft #1 due- For the first draft, I'd like you to explore 2 possible topics. Write at least a few paragraphs (1/2 page) for each topic.
Basically, begin the assignment, for two different topics, and see where it takes you. In class during small group workshop, you will determine which topic is best for your paper and how to develop it further. Read pages 352-363 and 364-366.
3/5: Essay #2, Draft #2 due- This draft should be almost full-length and include at least one source. I should see considerable development from the first draft. In class, we will go over MLA format and incorporation of sources. Read pages 327-345.
Spring Break: During Spring Break I will read your 2nd drafts and email you comments. Review pages 346-350.
3/17: Essay #2 final draft due
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