Rhetorical Analysis Essay Draft #1
Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S38-mjy5NtA
Song Lyrics: Thriving Ivory “Angels on the Moon”
Do you dream, that the world will know your name
So tell me your name
Do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive
To know I'm alive
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon
Do you believe, in the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe?
Do you know, that everyday's the first of the rest of your life
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon
This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, to all of us
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon
You can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side
But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know, No I don't wanna know
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Don't tell me if I'm dying
Rhetorical Analysis:
Intro- Thriving Ivory is a rock band that originated from San Francisco, California in 2004. The group consists of 5 male members; Clayton Stroope: Lead Vocals, Scott Jason: Piano and Keys, Drew Cribley: Guitars and Back-up Vocals, Brett Cohune: Bass, and last but not least Paul Niedermier: Drums and Percussion. Most of the songs I have heard by Thriving Ivory are very inspirational and are filled with various meanings. The one song that has caught my attention since it has become incredibly popular on rock radio channels in the past couple months is their hit song “Angel’s on the Moon”.
Meaning- Thriving Ivory’s song “Angels on the Moon” explains how things change and people come and go out of your life in a flash. Time flies by even when so many things happen in a day. All experiences are good or bad, happy or sad. In everyday life people, places, and events are taken for granted and we push them into the back of our minds or do not even worry about them at all. Through hard times people like to take the easy way out, avoiding problems and decisions that they do not want to make. Dreaming of angels on the moon gives out a feeling of imagining a world that does not take for granted the important things in life and seeing people worry about the important thing in life instead of the materialistic parts. The song makes you realize the everyone’s become kind of self absorbed in their everyday lives and do not really pay attention to the broad picture like what our “neighbors” are going through in this time of war, people with health issues, and foreign countries issues. They express how people can start over because every day is a new day and you can start over to live your life better than before in the lyrics; Do you know, that everyday’s the first day of the rest of your life. Video&Sound- In the video, Thriving Ivory seems so passionate about their feelings. Just the dazical view and black and white explain how life is black and white. It shows that things are unsure and things are getting dark. There are parts in the video when the sun looks like it is going to shine and that shows that things can still brighten back up if people or society want to make that change. The music video also helps us have a better understanding that this song is to make people understand that we are the only one that can change things. Just the way Clayton Stroope, the lead vocalist sings and uses his facial expressions in the video as he sings the song, he seems sincere and extremely passionate about a change. And I think that is how all of us should be because there is a dark side of life and people are too wrapped up in the past and everyday is a new beginning. Nothing seems to have life/color to it anymore.
Peer Review by Amber Lescalleet
ReplyDelete1) In my first draft my thesis is not exactly stated clearly and I should figure out a way to combined all the break downs I did into one thesis statement.
Maybe a thesis statement like:
Most of the songs I have heard by Thriving Ivory are very inspirational and are filled with various meanings....and then give some examples that I have explained in the following paragraphs.
Yes, the thesis does deal with the rhetoric of the song because of the examples and explinations given to support why the song gives us that emotion or feeling.
Yes, the argument of the text/video is that people worry to much about the small things and not as much focus on the bigger picture.
2) Yes, the writer provided specific support/examples from the text and video. There were two different paragraphs explaining how the text and meaning related and why, as well as, the videos and meaning related and why.
*"Dreaming of Angels on the Moon"-
gives out a feeling of imagining a world that does not take for granted the important things in life and seeing people worry about the important thing in life instead of the materialistic parts. The song makes you realize the everyone’s become kind of self absorbed in their everyday lives and do not really pay attention to the broad picture like what our “neighbors” are going through in this time of war, people with health issues, and foreign countries issues.
*"Do you know, that everyday’s the first day of the rest of your life"-express how people can start over because every day is a new day and you can start over to live your life better than before.
Other examples the writer could work on are the ones on tone, the colors...more examples and ideas on the lyrics and just the songs delivery.
Could be better descriptive on the meanings of
and why are they sending out this message in the song. What will be the effect if we don't change down the road and people continue to stop caring.
3) Yes, the analysis of the song is supported with description and examples. The examples help the thesis by explaining in greater detail what the songs point is. The writer could be give further analysis by looking over the song again and looking beyond the world and just into such things as relationships.
*Relationships
*Self change
4) One thing that sticks with me through the essay is the line of lyrics that says, "Do you know, that everyday’s the first day of the rest of your life." I believe this line is so vivid to me because I am a big believer in you can not let on thing get you down and you can start over but you are the only one that can push yourself and build yourself up to start that new day. You are in control. This song is very inspirational and you can feel the emotion just by listening to it.