Peer edit of Eve Supel's Essay for the song "Fast Car"

The paper I’m revising is Eve Supel’s “Mirrors of Our Parents Relationships”. Eve chose to write about Tracey Chapman’s song “Fast Car”. Eve starts out the essay stating a seeming clear thesis which is: “Fast Car proves that sometimes the influence of parent’s relationship has a greater impact on the type of relationship their children will encounter.”
Eve then gives good supporting examples directly quoting the song “ ..My old mans got a problem, he lives with the bottle that’s the way it is”, then Eve ties it with a line from the end of the song where Tracy is telling her boyfriend “ you stay out drinking late at the bar, see more of your friends than you do of your kids”. After further reading through the song lyrics and Eves Essay, I think maybe a different or clearer argument or point could be drawn from the song. Just by furthering her analysis to state that Tracy possible once saw her boyfriend as her knight in shining armor that was going to rescue her from her sad life , but in the end , reality strikes and the boyfriend is just like her father and things aren’t as beautiful as they seemed to be. Personally it takes me back to when I was a teenager and the guy with the fast hot car was all that in my eyes, until 10 yrs go by and you realize that a car doesn’t mean anything, the guy is a loser.
On good example of Rhetoric that Eve used though was when she stated that in the song Tracy going to leave her boyfriend , like her mother left her father because she wanted better. The only thing is I think there needs to better supporting evidence to assume that Tracy’s mom actually took care of her alcoholic father . She could compare how Tracy actually took care of her father , from the line “ I said somebody’s gotta take care of him so I quit school and that’s what I did”
Eve did a very good job at pointing out how the video could of done a better job at giving the song imagery and meaning. She used good ideas and examples of ways that the directoe could have used ethos by showing Tracy’s struggles to work and stay home with the kids while her boyfriend was out drinking.
One thing that sticks out to me is at the end of Eve’s essay she says “even though her boyfriend makes her feel good when they are riding in his car together she [does] realize that it [won’t ] pay the bills”
I think Eve did a good job making her point but could draw further conclusions from the songs actual lyrics rather than only associating Tracy’s relationship with that of her parents. But very good.